He would hate me and see how messed up I am. Ask yourself how not-forgiving is keeping you safe and listen to your truth without minimizing or correcting your beliefs. To learn how to forgive yourself, you must first acknowledge that the past is the past. But when you say, “I know God has forgiven me, but I can’t forgive myself” not only will you stay stuck in the past, but you’re refusing to accept God’s gift of a better future, through refusing to take His gift of your sins being forgiven. And don't fall into the traps of wondering if you are a bad person or bagging on yourself. It doesn’t mean that you can’t forgive yourself eventually. If you just can’t forgive, I invite you to explore what worked for me: 1. Forgiveness is also releasing my right … What should I do? The one thing I’ve learned up to now is … They may choose to never speak to you again, and at the end of the day, that’s their choice. All I can think about is what a bad person I've been. When we ask for God’s forgiveness based upon Christ having already paid for our sins and our having trusted in Him as Savior and Lord, He forgives us. I know God has forgiven me, but I can't forgive myself for some of the things I've done, and the way I've hurt some of my family. Be present and feel where those beliefs are still active in your body, 4. It is as simple as that (1 John 1:9). It becomes the story that you bring into the future, rather than the one you lay peacefully to rest where it belongs. I will share some techniques to help you and once you have learned how you can forgive yourself, you can then start working on being the best person you can be. They may never forgive me and if they don’t it’s because taught them how not to forgive. That self-abuse might feel somewhat necessary and you might feel justified in it, but it's actually pretty counter-productive. I need to do this work. 2. I don't want to tell my therapist this. By refusing to forgive yourself, you are telling yourself a story about shame and obliteration – so many times that it becomes the only one you know how to act out. I even wonder sometimes if God hasn't forgiven me after all. This seems fairly straightforward, but when we can really wrap our head around the fact that we can't undo the past—that the past is done, that those things happened—we open ourselves up to more acceptance. I was forgiven on multiple occasions by the girl who I hurt but I can't forgive myself. How To Forgive Yourself. 3. It's just what you need to do if you really want to forgive yourself. So, I cannot forgive myself. Keep it about yourself, your apologies, and make sure that what you write is genuine. One thing that helps is that I didn't mean anything by it but it still hurt her/her friends. 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